I know I've been lax in the prayer department, I know I haven't sought your help when I should have, I know I haven't put all of my struggles on your shoulders like you ask us to do. I know I haven't had a conversation with you for a very long time, at least not one that doesn't involve blame and hate and not understanding on my part. So for once in my life God, here's a prayer that isn't asking for anything.
Dear Jehovah God,
I would like to thank you first and foremost for strength, the strength I have everyday to get up and live another day happy and healthy and safe. I would like to thank you for having food in my refrigerator, clothes on my back, a bed to sleep in, a roof over my head and family to love. I have heat in the winter and air conditioning in the summer. I have legs to walk with and arms to hug with.I have access to medical help for me and my son when we are sick and need it. I have friends with good listening ears and love in their hearts.
Onto the not so basics. Seth has more toys and DVD's then he can ever want or need. I have books to read and video games to play. I have a clean backyard to sit and enjoy the sun, rain or snow. I had a free college education and the chance to become a teacher and I want you to know that I'm taking advantage of that and that I'm doing it. I am. I'm going to be a teacher, thanks to you. I have a spouse that loves me for who I am and is my partner and best friend in life. He's a great person. He's amazing. He makes me laugh and smile and we have great conversations.
You gave me parents, while not perfect, realized that education was the most important thing and pushed their children to succeed where they could not. You gave my mom the strength to go to college at 50 years old and accomplish amazing things. I have three great sisters (yeah we have our issues) and two brothers whom I love very much. I have a handsome nephew and a slew of cousins and aunts and uncles. I have support and I have love. I have a Down Syndrome family online full of men and women who are there to hold my hand through a difficult time in my life. I thank you for them.
I really want to thank you for Seth. Because there are places in this world where my child, a child with Down Syndrome are thrown away without hope or love or food or any basic necessities. And here we are, here Seth is, able to thrive and learn and grow, all because we have the means to. I often think about this Jehovah, I often think about what would have happened if Seth was born to any family but ours, in any country but this. And I cry, partially out of sadness for all those kids who aren't given a chance, but also out of thankfulness that Seth has a chance in this life, to have a good life.
Seth's eyes shine when he smiles and laughs and looks at me. Jehovah I never thought I wanted to be a mom growing up, never thought I was quite mom material. Thank you for giving me the experience of being a mom. It's the best feeling ever. One person in this world who is such an intrinsic part of who you are, a being that you are forever connected with, there is nothing like that feeling. Nothing. I feel loved everyday by Seth and he has been my greatest teacher and another best friend. We laugh together, we discover together, we learn about the world while we hold hands and share thoughts. I feel an overwhelming sense of pride and accomplishment in being Seth's mom. I'm good at it. Thank you for giving me that.
Jehovah, I've been ungrateful lately. I'm sorry. I really am thankful for all I have in life. Thank you.
In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.