Wednesday, July 13, 2011

What I was worried about . . .

everything. Truthfully I was worried about everything about being pregnant, even before finding out Seth has DS. We were not prepared for a baby. But here are a few specific things I was worried about and some great pics to prove myself wrong. I guess you can call this wordless Wednesday, but I'm never wordless. How about we call it minimal word Wednesday for my blog only? hehe

I was afraid Seth wouldn't be handsome. Yep I was. Here's my handsome boy:

I was afraid he wouldn't be silly, that he wouldn't know how to smile and have fun. Here's my silly man:

I was afraid that he wouldn't bond with his dad. So stupid of me. Really stupid.

I was afraid I wouldn't bond with him. To be honest, I didn't immediately. Yes in our society a mom is supposed to hold their child and have that instant connection - I didn't. I really didn't. I felt distant from him. It was our second day in the hospital, no one was there but me and him and I took off his shirt and started looking him over, inspecting every part of him. I looked at the space between his toes, his twinkling eyes, that freckle he has underneath his eye, the line across his palm and then all of a sudden, well he became mine. My son. I saw it all in him, my dads face shape, the color of my brothers eyes, my mouth and nose, and I saw more, I saw Seth. I also saw DS but I saw Seth first and that was a turning point.

That he wouldn't show personality:

So minimal word Wednesday. Next week I'll try for wordless.


  1. I worried about every single thing you listed here! I am loving your blog :)

  2. thank you Jenny. I find that as Seth is older I'm more truthful about my feelings. If you asked me a year or two ago I might have shielded myself more and pretended that everything was fine and that I was perfect. But I'm so not perfect, I'm not even sure I'm close to normal most days!!