Tuesday, May 1, 2012

on becoming a real boy

Dear Seth,

When did you become a real boy? I think of the story of Pinocchio and am inspired to write a story about my own wooden puppet, the one that  became a real boy one day.

So when was it over the last two years that you became alive?

One day I was changing diapers, bathing you, feeding you, dressing you, being the puppeteer, and the next you decided you wanted to do it all on your own. . . . and you do. You feed yourself, you are fully potty trained during the day, you bathe yourself, you even try and sometimes succeed in dressing yourself. You do it all Seth. There are no more strings attached. And I'm kind of missing holding them but I'm so proud of you for letting go, for becoming, for coming into your own independence.

Two days ago we took a long walk, shopping along the avenue, and you walked by my side and by your aunts and grandma the whole way. You listened, you discovered, you learned, you asked questions and got answers. You even insisted on stopping and looking at items that interested you. You exuded life, personality, wonderment. There was nothing passive about your existence, about your thoughts, feelings, wants and needs.

You had passion.

You made yourself known.

So I don't know exactly when this  big change happened, when you became "a real boy" but it has brought us nothing but utter happiness and joy. We are in love with everything you are, all that you want to be and all that you will become.

You are inspired and you instill inspiration in all of those around you.

In so many ways I was terrified that you would stay that wooden puppet forever, to be manipulated by others but never having free will or personality or emotion.

I never wanted you to lead a life of passivity Seth, and from Day One I have taught you to fight and be stubborn.

I now have proof that you took those lessons to heart. You are most certainly a real boy, and I'm so glad your're mine.

2 comments:

  1. Damn it...This one made me cry. Loved it so much.

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  2. See...told you it gets better. :-) Glad to hear Seth is accomplishing these things. My girl was not toilet trained until at least 5, so he is doing well. Yes its amazing when you finally start 'connecting' with your child with Ds, I know what you mean. even though the love is always there, when the connection comes, when you are able to share a conversation/moment it is the best thing and worth waiting for.

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