Tuesday, February 19, 2013

On Seth having a father...

Wow the response to my last post has been nothing but supportive. I finally feel so free because I made my situation known to everyone in my life, in person friends and online.

So a comment was made on my last post asking if I had gotten away from my ex....yes I have.

But have I completely? No, because Seth is his son. And as much as my ex has hurt me, as much as he wasn't the greatest father, Seth loves him and needs him. And Andrew does indeed love his son. I've always said that love isn't enough, I realize it now, Seth will realize it later on in life, but perhaps, just maybe, Andrew will be the father he needs to be. Because love does run out....if what is needed to be done doesn't get done. I view it as a bank....you can't take love out if you don't give it in and giving love is more than words, it's actions, sacrifice, hardships, it's so much more than a hug or kiss or three seamingly meaningful words.

I've been terribly ill the last four days. Strep throat.....fever, chills, all around feeling like death. . . And I called Seth's father and said you have to take your son, I just can't do it....and he did.

Now for any other father this is normal, there would be no question of taking your child for the weekend, but with him there always was. So he surprised me. And he's more attentive to Seth's needs lately. He's been doing the medicine thing, keeping up with doctors appointment information, he even plans on coming to Seth's IEP.

I will never forget what he did to me. I will never forgive him either. I will do what I think is best for Seth.,..and I think having two parents that love you is best. I grew up in a very dysfunctional home, but I always had a mom and a dad and I loved that about my family. I don't want to deprive Seth of a father.


2 comments:

  1. Your posts sometimes break my heart because it's sad to think of anyone going through as much as you have. I am glad you are finally in a good place, and safe. You will do what is best for your son, and right now that means having a Father in his life.

    Hope you feel better soon!

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    Replies
    1. Omg strep throat is like dying. Seth got it too and we are both on antibiotics...thank God for those!

      I told my therapist that I wouldn't change it all, even if I could. My life is what makes me who I am. And sometimes I'm a very scared, lonely person and at others I'm super mom
      ......I don't want to lose who I am ....even with all the bad memories. I value my life experience.

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