Happy conception day douchebag....ironically it's not only your birthday but the day that our son was conceieved. I remember it well, more than I should. So the day our son was conceived, yep the son you forsook when you has sex with another woman in the apartment we shared you worthless piece of horse manure.
Fuck you for every birthday of mine you have ruined and for everything you did with her that you were unwilling to do with me, fuck you for all of the lies, the pain, the torment, the basic assholish fuckery that I had to deal with for the past ten fuckin years. Fuck you. Fuck you up the ass so hard. I wish you more pain than you can ever fucking imagine.
I was sweet once, not innocent, but sweet. I was happy and pure and unaware of the pain associated with heartbreak. I was like a newly forged clay pot. So fresh. No holes or dents or cracks orscratches. Then you broke my heart and created the biggest fucking crack in my pot...and as much as I cover it with plaster or fill it in, it will never be that clay fucking pot again.
I am forever damaged and all I want to do, all I really want to do, is to keep filling that hole with pieces of your flesh, your blood, with bits of your soul until those holes are bursting at the fucking seams. And I've done that, and that crack seemed to hunger, to yearn, instead of filling it thrives on blood and gore and hate and this lust for blood and flesh and anything else I can tear off your body.
This crack thrived on darkness and madness..the crack didn't fill...it splintered into a million other cracks furthering the damage done to that clay pot.
So here I am, full of cracks, of darkness, and I can't go back to being shiny and new again, nor would I want to. But this claypot is getting very difficult to hold water and be half full. This clay pot doesn't have the capacity it once did. This clay pot isn't wanted by people anymore because it is not beautiful. It sits on the shelf, watching the world pass it by, wanting so desperately to take another trip to the well to become full again.
I will never feel full again.